Clubhouse Rules

The Island Forums is a private club. As such, it is not a democracy; it is a benevolent monarchy.

Terms of Service

Islanders are welcomed by invitation only and must be 18 or older. Minors will not be served. You may not come incognito, there are no paparazzi here. We reserve the right to mix our metaphors, our drinks and our membership. To swim in our waters, lie on our sand, and be served at the bar, you must click the "I AGREE" icon below indicating that you agree to be bound by the terms of the Clubhouse Rules (including the Privacy Policy of The Island Forums) and all applicable laws:

1. Purpose. The Island Forums exist to provide a meeting place for Islanders to discuss and dissect the joys, trials, ups and downs of our daily lives. The Clubhouse Rules are intended to support this purpose. The success of the Island Forums depends on the adherence to the terms of the Clubhouse Rules by you and all other Islanders. While the Royal Family (a.k.a. the Owner and Administrators (henceforth referred to as the royal "We,")) will do our best to enforce the terms of the Clubhouse Rules, as set forth below in Sections 11, 12 and 13, We cannot warrant or represent that other Islanders will in fact adhere to the Clubhouse Rules and cannot act as insurers or accept any liability for their failure to do so. We ask that you please use common sense and observe real world courtesies as you join our Island home.

2. Agreement. By clicking the "I AGREE" icon below, you agree to declare your fealty to the Royal Family and to be contractually bound to the terms of these Clubhouse Rules. In order to avoid the need for hundreds of messages in bottles, you also agree that your assent, given electronically, shall have the same legal effect as if it had been personally signed by you. To the extent permitted by law, these Clubhouse Rules are intended to supersede any provisions of applicable law which might otherwise limit their enforceability or effect because they were entered into electronically.

3. Access. By agreeing to the Clubhouse Rules, you will be granted your own cyber-beach chair and virtual margarita (or other beverage of your choice), and a revocable license to access the Island Forums for free. Your access privileges, however, are conditioned on your adherence to the terms of these Clubhouse Rules. Do not piss off the Royal Family! We are very hard to offend, but please do not take that as a challenge. We reserve the right to temporarily deny you access to the Island Forums or permanently terminate your access privileges at any time if, in our sole discretion, you have failed to abide by the terms of these Clubhouse Rules or appear to us likely to do so, or if We are having a bad hair day. Chocolate may be accepted as a token of your fealty or a plea for mercy. By agreeing to grant you access, We do not obligate ourselves to do so or to maintain this site, or to maintain it in its present form, and We expressly reserve the right to modify, suspend or terminate your access privileges. You agree and understand that We may, in our sole discretion and without any prior notice, close the Island Forums or deny you access to it and delete any files which you may maintain at this site and any information which you may choose to post here. You should keep a copy of any material which you post to the Island Forums because We will not undertake to retain copies of any material which We or others may delete from this site.

In addition, We reserve the right to purge a membership after thirty (30) days of inactivity. Following your initial grant of membership, you have thirty (30) days to post at least once on one of the Island Forums or your membership will be terminated.

4. Privileges Nontransferable. Your beach pass is yours and yours alone. Pin it to your bikini or tattoo it to your butt because no one else may use it. Your access privileges may not be transferred by you to any third-parties. You further agree not to disclose to anyone your confidential password. We recommend that you use a complex and unique password for your account, to prevent account theft. You are solely responsible for maintaining the confidentiality of your password, and are solely responsible for all activities that occur under your password. We are not responsible for any loss or damage arising as a result of your failure to comply with this Section 4. If you aid or abet others to sneak onto the Island, you will be dealt with harshly.

5. Confidential Information.

a. Confidentiality. What is said on the Island, stays on the Island. Carrier pigeons will be shot on sight. Rats will be exterminated. To allow for a free and open exchange of information in the Island Forums, you agree to treat all communications that take place at this site as confidential and you further agree not to disclose, copy or transmit to people who are not otherwise subject to these Clubhouse Rules any messages or information posted at this site, except with the author's permission. Don't display our private parts and We won't display yours. You agree and understand that the purpose of this confidentiality provision is to foster an open environment where Islanders may freely exchange ideas without fear that specific comments will be quoted or attributed to them outside of the Island Forums - not to create a binding obligation on the part of the Owner or Administrators to protect the confidentiality of information posted here or to act as insurers or guarantors of, or to accept liability for, the conduct of other Islanders. While it should be a matter of common sense, you agree and acknowledge that you will not post any information on the Island Forums which constitutes a trade secret or which is otherwise so confidential that its disclosure could cause you or others any economic harm. As set forth below in Sections 11, 12 and 13, We cannot warrant, guaranty or insure that information posted at this site, in fact, is treated in the manner required by these Clubhouse Rules and We assume no liability if it is not.

b. Public Information. If the message has already reached the mainland, we won't flog you. Our policy of encouraging confidentiality shall not apply to the extent that you can establish that information is in the public domain (and did not fall into the public domain as a result of your breach of this policy or any other confidentiality agreement); or was in your possession before you gained access to it at this site (and you can prove this fact by admissible, written evidence); or it was received from a third-party (who was in lawful possession of it) without any confidentiality restrictions. Should the long arm of the law become involved, nothing in these Clubhouse Rules shall prevent you from disclosing information obtained at this site if compelled to do so by a court of law or government agency, on condition that you provide advance notice to the person who disclosed the information and allow that person a reasonable opportunity to intervene in the proceeding to protect the confidentiality of the information.

6. Copyrights. Twenty whacks with a limbo pole to any Islander who posts things that don't belong to them. By posting material at the Island Forums you agree, represent and warrant that you own the rights to such material or that you have obtained the signed, written permission of the owners of all rights in such material. You shall retain ownership of the copyrights in any original material that you post at the Island Forums (to the extent such material may be entitled to copyright protection). By agreeing to the Clubhouse Rules, you hereby grant other Islanders a perpetual, nonexclusive, royalty-free license to reproduce, adapt, distribute, display and perform all or any portion of any such material, provided such licensed copying occurs only at the Island Forums (or in the temporary memory of the computer which you use to access this site). You agree to respect the copyrights of other Islanders on the same terms and conditions. Specifically, except with respect to material which you post at this site and own or are licensed to use (or load in the temporary memory of the computer you use to access this site), you agree not to reproduce, distribute, perform (either publicly or by digital audio transmission), publicly display or prepare derivative works based on any works posted at this site without first obtaining the express permission of the copyright owner to do so.

7. Use of Personal Message System. You agree that you will not use the personal message system to broadcast messages for personal gain, bulk promotion of your business, eBay sales, or to otherwise spam fellow Islanders. eBay items should be posted on the appropriate forum. Islanders are welcome to post links and graphics to advertise home businesses in their signatures. Attacks via personal messages will not be tolerated and should be reported immediately. Let's keep our personal message system free to use for what it was intended - gossip!

8. Size of Graphics Within Signatures and Posts. Islanders can choose to turn off loading of signatures in their profile so you are not required to limit the size of your signature. However, large graphics can wreak havoc on margins so We strongly encourage you to limit your signature width to 5 inches or less, lest you annoy the Royal Family. 100x100 pixels is the royally decreed size for avatars. Blinkies and other graphics may be used to adorn Islanders who do not wish to roam the Island naked.

9. Good Samaritan Content Policy & Complaint Procedures.

a. Policy. It is the policy of the Owner and Administrators of the Island Forums not to tolerate any acts of intellectual property infringement or violations of U.S. law or to allow for any child pornography or obscene or defamatory material to be posted at this site. We will do our best, in good faith, to purge or otherwise restrict the availability of material that is infringing, racist, sexist, obscene, harassing, or otherwise objectionable, including, but not limited to, on the basis of religion, sexual orientation, mental or physical ability. Keep in mind that Islanders come from a variety of backgrounds and using derogatory language about a specific group of people, improper use of terms or casual use of slang might not just offend, but inadvertently hurt, one of your fellow Islanders. Think before you post. These rules apply not only to posts, but to all aspects of your signature and avatar, including blinkies. Failure to comply may result in a warning, or the revocation of your membership and immediate exile from the Island Forums. Islanders who prefer not to read swear words in a post can turn on the word filter in their profile. Our primary excuse for existence is to relax. So be nice to your fellow Islanders. You don't need to agree with them, but don't make your disagreement personal. If a topic turns heated, take it to the Boxing Ring forum or get dragged there by your ears.

We welcome the diversity of our Islanders and have provided a number of different forums within the Island Forums for Islanders to discuss particular interests. We encourage Islanders to consider the appropriate forum for the subject matter of their posts.

The provisions of this Section 9 are intended to implement this policy but are not intended to impose a contractual obligation on the Owner or Administrators of the Island Forums to undertake, or refrain from undertaking, any particular course of conduct.

b. Complaint Procedures. If there's a problem, don't throw coconuts at our sand castle, tell us about it. If you believe that someone has posted material at the Island Forums which infringes the intellectual property or other rights of third-parties or which is in violation of U.S. law or which is racist, sexist, obscene, harassing, defamatory, or otherwise objectionable, or which constitutes child pornography, We ask you to promptly notify us by e-mail at the following address: notify@theislandforums.com. You must use this address if you want to ensure that your complaint is actually received by the appropriate person charged with responding to such communications.

In order to respond as quickly as possible to any complaint, please provide us with as much detail as possible, including (1) the nature of the right infringed or violated (including the registration numbers of any registered copyrights, trademarks or patents allegedly infringed); (2) all facts which lead you to believe that a right has been violated or infringed; (3) the precise location where the offending material is located; (4) any grounds to believe that the person who posted the material was not authorized to do so or did not have a valid defense (including the defense of fair use); and (5) if known, the identity of the person or persons who posted the infringing or offending material.

c. Indemnification/Waiver of Certain Rights. By lodging a complaint, you agree that the substance of your complaint shall be deemed to constitute a representation made under penalty of perjury under the laws of the State of Virginia. In addition, you agree, at your own expense, to defend us and indemnify us against any liability which We may incur by our response to your complaint.

d. Waiver of Claims and Remedies. We expect Islanders to take responsibility for their own actions, and, as set forth below in Sections 11, 12 and 13, cannot assume liability for acts of third-parties which take place at the Island Forums. By agreeing to these Clubhouse Rules, you acknowledge that in establishing a complaint procedure We are taking on the role of a Good Samaritan and, in order to allow us to do our best, in good faith, to purge or otherwise restrict the availability of material that is infringing, racist, sexist, obscene, harassing, or otherwise objectionable, you agree to waive any claims or remedies which you might otherwise be able to make against us under any theory of law (including, but not limited to, intellectual property laws) arising out of or relating in any way to the content of the Island Forums or our response, or failure to respond, to a complaint.

e. Investigation/Right to Purge Postings. You agree that We have the right (but not the obligation) to investigate any complaint received and, at any time and for any reason, to remove any material which you post to the Island Forums, with or without your permission, and with or without cause, in our sole discretion. By reserving this right, We do not undertake any responsibility in fact to remove content posted online, whether or not a complaint has been received. We will endeavor to notify you with the reason for the deletion of any post or material via personal message or email. We hope that all Islanders will exercise courtesy in the material they post such that We will not need to exercise this authority.

10. Privacy. Get real, this is the internet. We agree that We will not knowingly provide any third-party with any information about Islanders, unless We obtain your permission or are compelled to do so by court order. You agree to respect the privacy rights of other Islanders by not publishing or harvesting email addresses obtained at this site. Please note that with each post, your IP address is recorded, in the event that you need to be banned from the Island or your ISP contacted. This will only happen in the event of a major violation of the Clubhouse Rules. Please note also that the software places a cookie, a text file containing bits of information (such as your username and password) in your browser's cache. This is only used to keep you logged in/out. The software does not collect or send any other form of information to your computer.

11. DISCLAIMER OF WARRANTIES. IN ORDER TO PROVIDE YOU WITH THIS FREE SERVICE, WE ARE UNABLE TO OFFER ANY WARRANTIES OR MAKE ANY REPRESENTATIONS ABOUT ANY BENEFITS OR OPPORTUNITIES WHICH YOU MAY OBTAIN AT THIS SITE. WE HEREBY DISCLAIM ALL WARRANTIES, EXPRESS OR IMPLIED, INCLUDING, BUT NOT LIMITED TO, WARRANTIES OF MERCHANTABILITY, FITNESS FOR A PARTICULAR PURPOSE, TITLE AND NON-INFRINGEMENT. THE ISLAND FORUMS ARE MADE AVAILABLE TO YOU "AS IS," WITHOUT ANY WARRANTIES WHASOEVER ABOUT THE NATURE, CONTENT OR ACCURACY (EITHER WHEN POSTED OR AS A RESULT OF THE PASSAGE OF TIME) OF ANY MATERIAL AT THE SITE, AND WITHOUT ANY REPRESENTATIONS OR GUARANTEES. IN ADDITION, WE MAKE NO REPRESENTATIONS, WARRANTIES OR GUARANTEES THAT THE ISLAND FORUMS WILL BE SECURE, ACCESSIBLE CONTINUOUSLY AND WITHOUT INTERRUPTION, OR FREE OF ERRORS AND/OR VIRUSES.

TO THE EXTENT THAT YOU MIGHT OTHERWISE BELIEVE THAT ANY WARRANTIES, GUARANTEES OR REPRESENTATIONS HAVE BEEN MADE TO YOU, YOU HEREBY AGREE THAT SUCH STATEMENTS, WHETHER MADE ORALLY OR IN WRITING, ARE TO BE CONSTRUED AS MERELY NONBINDING EXPRESSIONS OF POLICY RATHER THAN AFFIRMATIVE REPRESENTATIONS, OBLIGATIONS, GUARANTEES OR WARRANTIES. IN THE EVENT OF ANY CONFLICT BETWEEN THIS SECTION 11 AND OTHER TERMS OR PROVISIONS OF THESE CLUBHOUSE RULES, THIS SECTION SHALL BE CONSTRUED TO TAKE PRECEDENCE.

12. LIMITATION OF LIABILITY. IN ORDER TO PROVIDE YOU WITH THIS FREE SERVICE, WE ARE UNABLE TO ACCEPT LIABILITY FOR ANY CONDUCT, ACTS OR OMISSIONS OCCURRING AT THE ISLAND FORUMS. IN NO EVENT WILL WE BE LIABLE TO YOU INCLUDING, WITHOUT LIMITATION, FOR BREACH OF CONTRACT, TORT OR NEGLIGENCE, FOR ANY DIRECT, INDIRECT, SPECIAL, PUNITIVE OR CONSEQUENTIAL DAMAGES (INCLUDING ANY LOST PROFITS) THAT ARISE OUT OF OR IN CONNECTION WITH ANY FAILURE OF PERFORMANCE, ERRORS, INACCURACIES, OMISSIONS, DEFECTS, UNTIMELINESS, INTERRUPTION, DELETION, DELAY IN OPERATION OR TRANSMISSION, COMPUTER VIRUS, COMMUNICATION LINE FAILURE, THEFT OR DESTRUCTION OR UNAUTHORIZED ACCESS TO, ALTERATION OF, OR USE OF RECORD, OR UNAUTHENTICITY OF ANY CONTENT IN THE SITE, OR THE USE OR INABILITY TO USE THIS SITE OR ANY CONTENT THEREIN, EVEN IF YOU CLAIM TO HAVE NOTIFIED US ABOUT SUCH DAMAGES, OR FOR ANY CLAIMS BY ANY THIRD PARTIES.

The Island Forums may contain links and pointers to other World Wide Web sites, resources and advertisers. Links to and from the Island Forums to other sites, maintained by third parties, do not constitute an endorsement by us of any third party site or content. We are not responsible for the availability of these third party resources, or their contents. We have not reviewed any or all of the sites linked to the Island Forums and are not responsible for the content of any off-site pages or other sites linked to the Island Forums. Your linking to the Island Forums, off-site pages or other sites is at your own risk.

13. Release. In the event that you have a dispute with one or more Islanders, you release the Owner and Administrators from claims, demands and damages (actual and consequential) of every kind and nature, known and unknown, suspected and unsuspected, disclosed and undisclosed, arising out of or in any way connected with such disputes.

14. Complete Agreement/No Representations. These Clubhouse Rules constitute the entire agreement between you and the Owner and Administrators of the Island Forums relating to your access to and use of the Island Forums and supersedes any prior or contemporaneous representations or agreements. These Clubhouse Rules - and only these Clubhouse Rules - shall govern our legal rights and obligations. Any rights not otherwise expressly granted by the Clubhouse Rules are reserved by us. The Clubhouse Rules may not be modified, either expressly or by implication, except as set forth below in Section 14.

As set forth in Section 11, it is not our intention to make any legal representations or warranties about the Island Forums, either expressly or by implication. The terms of the Clubhouse Rules are intended to supersede anything else that appears at the Island Forums now, or in the future. So that there is no misunderstanding, by agreeing to the Clubhouse Rules you agree that, except as provided in Section 14, nothing posted at the Island Forums or otherwise communicated to you shall in any way modify or vary the terms of the Clubhouse Rules.

15. Modifications/Termination.

a. In General. No one other than the Owner is authorized to vary the terms of the Clubhouse Rules. The Clubhouse Rules may be modified only (1) by obtaining our written consent with the royal seal of the Owner; or (2) as set forth below in subpart (b).

b. Periodic Revisions and Amendments. You agree that We may modify the terms of the Clubhouse Rules in our sole discretion. If We do so, We will notify you by email at the address you have provided to us and by posting a notice on our homepage for thirty (30) consecutive days in advance of the effective date of any modification to the Clubhouse Rules. You agree that it shall be your responsibility to log on to the Island Forums at least once every thirty (30) days, review any email you may receive from us and notify us at notify@theislandforums.com promptly in the event you change email accounts or if you would prefer to receive notices from us at a different account from the one you are presently using. Otherwise it will be your responsibility and obligation to check the legal section of the Island Forums whenever you access this site, to determine if there have been any changes to the Clubhouse Rules. You may notify us at notify@theislandforums.com at any time before, or within thirty (30) days after, any modification takes effect, to advise us that you do not accept the proposed modification. If We do not receive such a communication from you in the time prescribed, the modification will be deemed to have been accepted by you. You agree and understand that We reserve the right to unilaterally terminate your access privileges or otherwise deny you access to this site in the event that you decline to be bound by any proposed modifications to the Clubhouse Rules.

c. Term. Unless We terminate your access privileges or you decide to terminate your membership, your agreement to the Clubhouse Rules shall remain in force so long as you are authorized to access the Island Forums. You agree that in the event you decide to terminate your membership or if your access privileges are suspended or terminated you shall continue to be bound by all obligations set forth in the Clubhouse Rules including, but not limited to, those contained in Sections 4, 5, 6, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 16, and 17, for a period of five (5) years or until the expiration of all applicable statute of limitations period, whichever is longer. Except as otherwise provided in this Section 15, you will not be bound by any modifications to the Clubhouse Rules which may take effect after such time as you or We terminate our contractual relationship.

16. Indemnification, Jurisdiction and Dispute Resolution. You agree, at your expense, to defend and indemnify us against any liability arising out of or relating in any way to alleged acts or omissions by you which, if true, would constitute a violation of one or more terms or provisions of the Clubhouse Rules. All disputes arising out of or relating in any way to the Clubhouse Rules or our ownership, operation or maintenance of the Island Forums shall be resolved exclusively in the appropriate state or federal court where subject matter jurisdiction is otherwise property in York County, Virginia or the Eastern District of Virginia. All such disputes shall be governed by and construed in accordance with the laws of the United States and the State of Virginia as applied to transactions entered into and to be performed wholly within Virginia between Virginia residents. In the event of any breach of the Clubhouse Rules, you agree that, notwithstanding any other provision of law, We shall be entitled to obtain preliminary injunctive relief enforcing the terms of this agreement.

17. Construction. If any portion of the Clubhouse Rules is ruled invalid or otherwise unenforceable, it shall be deemed amended in order to achieve as closely as possible the same effect as originally drafted. Any invalid or unenforceable portion should be construed as narrowly as possible in order to give effect to as much of the Clubhouse Rules as possible.